Whatcha Reading? - True Monster by Yellow Prince

Hello, thar. Meinos Kaen here!

Today I bring you a public service. Well, not really, but it should be! After all, we all know how difficult it's become to chance upon decent Fanfiction, especially on Fanfiction.Net. The Naruto section is the biggest Manga Subsection and the bigger the section, of course, the bigger the percentage of lower quality stories. There's also the problem that there's no quakeing Yaoi Filter, something which I really wish existed. I mean, seriously. After watching the first six seasons of Supernatural, I was like 'Damn. There's no way no one ever wrote Fanfiction about this.' Then I found out it was the biggest TV-Show Fanfiction Subsection. I was about to open it when my heart froze. 'Wait a minute.' I thought to myself. 'It's a series about two attractive brothers who care for each other more than anything in the world and would do anything to protect each other.' I added that to the Yaoi Fangirl equation, remembering what happened in Harry Potter and Naruto. I recoiled in fright.

So, I think it actually is of public service reviewing and making the world know about decent Fanfiction out there. Let's get started with today's Fanfiction, this one from the Naruto Fandom.

 

The story is called True Monster, it's the first and only story from author Yellow Prince. Here's the story's details.

True Monster

Rated M, English, Genre: Adventure/Angst, Chapters: 5, In Progress, Published the 11-27-11, Last updated the 3-2-12

Born from streetwoman's womb, and Kyuubi's power sealed into him, Naruto's entrusted to ROOT under secrecy while everyone's thinking Minami, Minato and Kushina's daughter, as a hero. Full summary inside. Yondaime family alive. Betaed now.

From the summary, it may not seem that original. We've already seen fics where Naruto's family was alive but he was separated from it and where he had a sibling that took his place as a container, but what got me is the fact that Minato, according to the summary, had Naruto from another woman. It intrigued me enough to get me inside and blissfully, I liked what I found. After going through all the chapters, I can give this story a solid 7 out of 10.

 

What did I like?

This story packs lots of originality and well done characterization. The most important change from canon, surprisingly, is not the Yondaime and Kushina being alive, nor is it Naruto being born from an affair. It's the Yondaime himself. In the story, the fourth Hokage shows a huge yet so simple difference from canon: he's a chauvinist. He considers women as inferior and wishes for a male heir. Now, add to the equation that he gave Naruto to Danzo to hide his affair and that Kushina, in 8 years, has only managed to give him daughters. Yep. The Namikaze household is not a happy one. And then, there's what happens with the Uchiha Crisis.

The writing skills of Yellow Prince are high enough though that Minato's new condition feels natural. This Yondaime isn't like this just because he must be, but because he is. Sometimes authors, trying to modify a character's persona, will force him in new clothes in a way which just makes the whole thing feel wrong and unnatural. Such is not the case with this chauvinist Yondaime. The change is small but at the same time big for the implications and it's very well written. The fourth only acts bad in secret, when people cannot see him and is sure no one will rat him out, like a real scumbag. The atmosphere in the Namikaze household is realistic. I mean, normal families most of the times don't come out with these kind of problems, figures one where the culprit is the Leader and the strongest man in a village of military mercenaries.

What could be better?

If on one hand Yellow Prince does a great job portraying chauvinist!Minato, he seems to not be able to write a convincing Root!Naruto. While the idea of making him acquainted not only with Sai but with his unnamed brother from the manga, this is one of those cases where the clothes feel tight. He didn't manage to naturally make Naruto shift into a new characterization. Also, it makes you wonder how is this kind of emotionless Naruto going to find any motivation to challenge this kind of Yondaime? If that's Yellow Prince's intention. Currently, it's my wish for it to happen. Good villains are meant to make people miserable, but that only makes their fall that much sweeter.

My tips to the Author

Love this clinic's logo.

I - Keep up the good work with Minato. It's been a while since I found a villain figure I purely loathed, and to bring it out of the Yondaime of all people is a small stroke of genius.

II – You may want to think about modifying your Naruto's characterization. It just feels too unnatural for him to be that emotionless at such a young age. After all, people become emotionless because they have felt emotions first. I think the best characterization for a Root!Naruto would be for him to be obedient, yeah, but still able to care and show positive emotions. This dichotomy would irk Danzo to no end and it would also create delicious inner conflict in Naruto. He has been taught to obey, and yet, it hurts.

That said, I confirm my 7 out of 10 for Yellow Prince's story. I can only wish for him to keep up the good work in this and any future stories.

Meinos Kaen out!