Hello, thar. Meinos Kaen here!
What do I bring to the table today for you to inspect? Well, another one-shot of Fanfiction reviewed for your pleasure. Seems to be almost all I'm reading, lately. The rest? Well, On the Warrior's Path by Daniele Bolelli, a nice book about martial arts and the relationship with your body. One of the best reads I've ever had. Returning to fanfiction, though, what I bring you here is pure talent and originality, titled Five should be enough by author Arcainum. This story spurs fresh air on one of the most overused plot devices ever, since Bill Murray brought it to stardom via Groundhog Day. That should be everything you need to understand that I'm talking about time loops. You know the deal: a day will keep on repeating itself forever unless the only person aware of it manages to solve a particular conundrum.
We've seen them used in everything, from books to Xena to Supernatural to fan-fiction. But it's rare nowadays to have a time-loop end up as original or, hell, even entertaining, since it means thay each new day you have to do something different. Sheningans concerning the shell-shock to someone suddenly finding himself in such a situation have grown old. FSBE take the time loop and manages to give it a new coat of paint. How?
By not playing it for laughs and making entering a time loop a conscious decision. And I mean really not playing it for laughs. Time loops which center around a tragedy aren't rare, but it almost always loses its seriousness and gets played for laughs since it always happen until it's stopped. Arcainum doesn't play it for laugh in this MLPFIM piece. And that's why I give him 9/10!
What did I like?
The dramatis historia. As I've already conveyed, the matter which makes Applejack decide to willingly enter a time loop is no serious matter, and stays as such until the end and most importantly, after the end. You say, how can a story become something after its end? Well, only one way to discover it...
What didn't I like?
Hmmm... Well, the twist, although still delicious, gets uncovered halfway through. Not on purpose, just, I could already see it coming. I guess he could have worked a bit more on keeping it shadowed. I have a precise suggestion, but I can't expose it here, else I spoiler!
My suggestions to the author
I - I'd say give this a sequel, if only to deal with the consequences of the ending. It's a storetelling gold mine.
And even if I cannot haz a sequel, I'm now waiting for the next story from Arcainum. He's on my watch, should be on yours too.
Meinos Kaen out!
P.S.: WE'VE REACHED PAST 50.000 HITS! WOHOOOO! THANKS, GUYS!